Every tailor has a story about the client who changed their approach. Ours is the story of the Duchess, a magnificent long haired grey cat who arrived at our atelier carrying an enormous problem and a small sandwich.
The problem
The Duchess had been searching for months for a garment that would match her favourite armchair. It was a deep green velvet armchair of great age, which she believed to be the most beautiful object in her household. Everything she tried on looked wrong beside it. Her bow ties clashed. Her cravats vanished. Her evening gowns made her look like a cushion that had been sat on.
Our approach
Sir Reginald proposed three solutions.
- Option one: buy a new armchair. The Duchess dismissed this as “unthinkable and, frankly, rude.”
- Option two: dye the armchair. The Duchess dismissed this with a look that cooled the room.
- Option three: wear the armchair.
The fitting
Our tailor, Monsieur Thread, took measurements of the armchair, which was a more cooperative subject than most of our clients. He then created a matching garment in the same green velvet, cut to a close fit across the shoulders and finished with a collar of ivory trim.
The Duchess wore it to the first fitting and sat in the armchair. She became invisible. For eleven minutes the household searched the house for her. They checked the kitchen, the garden, the cupboard and the washing machine.
The result
The Duchess reported that it was the happiest moment of her life. “At last I am part of the furniture,” she said. “I shall never move again.”
She has since appeared at three formal events, each time arriving in a green velvet suit and heading directly for the largest green chair in the room. Hosts have learned not to sit there.
Lessons
- If your outfit and your furniture do not match, change one
- If you cannot change either, change your attitude
- If all else fails, sit very still and let the room adapt
Tuxedo and Tails Formalwear is a fictional business, and this case study is an invention. If you have a real armchair, please do not wear it.