TO: All staff
FROM: Sir Reginald Fluffington the Third, Founder
SUBJECT: Staff dress code, revision four
It has come to my attention that standards have slipped. Last Thursday I saw a member of the sales team wearing a collar with no accessories. On Friday I saw a second member wearing only fur. I am therefore issuing the following updates, which replace revision three, which was eaten.
Daily requirements
- A bow tie or cravat, worn at the throat
- A waistcoat, buttoned if possible, draped if not
- Polished claws, trimmed to a professional length
- A calm expression, even when a customer is shouting
Items now prohibited
Hats with feathers, because they are distracting. Hats with bells, because they are very distracting. Hats of any kind worn on the head of another employee.
Fur policy
All staff must be reasonably free of fur while serving customers. In recognition of our natural limitations, a small amount is permitted on the shoulders, arms, back and face. Anything beyond this should be dealt with at the lint roller, which has been moved to the staff kitchen.
Footwear
Footwear is optional, but if worn it should match. Staff who prefer to go without are asked to keep their paws clean and not to leave prints on the glass counter, unless prints are part of the display.
Casual Fridays
Casual Fridays are cancelled. In their place, we are introducing Slightly Less Formal Fridays, in which bow ties may be worn loosely and cravats may be tied in a knot of the employee’s choosing.
Reporting violations
Any violation should be reported to Lady Marmalade, who maintains the book of infractions. She has a long memory, a good eye and a distressing amount of free time.
Final remarks
I want to thank everyone for their cooperation. Appearance is the first thing a customer notices, and the second thing is the smell. Please take care of both.
Regards,
Sir Reginald Fluffington the Third
Tuxedo and Tails Formalwear is a fictional business, and this memo is part of a parody. No actual staff were disciplined, although one ribbon is under review.