We receive a great many letters in our post box, most of them from the same four cats. This one was different, being long, tearful and written, as far as we can tell, with a slightly damp paw.
The letter
Dear Tuxedo and Tails, I write in despair. I ordered the Lace Wedding Veil for my niece’s ceremony, which was to take place on Saturday in the garden. On Friday evening I tried it on and found it extremely comfortable. By Saturday morning I had eaten a third of it. I do not remember doing so, but there was thread in my teeth and I was not hungry. I cannot go to the wedding like this. What can I do? Yours in distress, Pickles
Our reply
Dear Pickles,
Thank you for writing, and may we say how sorry we are that your veil has been partly consumed. We want you to know that this is not an unusual event. We have heard the following explanations over the years:
- The veil looked like a cobweb
- The veil smelled of the florist
- The veil moved on its own
- The veil was already half eaten when it arrived
What can be done
We are able to offer a repair service. A skilled tailor in our workshop, a thin cat named Monsieur Thread, will patch the veil with matching lace. The repair will take three days and will cost the price of a medium fish.
Regarding the ceremony: we recommend arriving with the veil in the repaired state and, if a gap is noticed, explaining that it is a bold artistic choice. Some guests may remark on it. These guests should be gently ignored.
A word on prevention
To avoid further incidents, we suggest that you do not try on a veil in the evening when you are hungry, and that you place it on a high shelf in a locked cupboard. We also suggest locking yourself in a different cupboard.
Closing thoughts
We hope the wedding was a success. We hope the niece was pleased. Most of all we hope you have recovered from the shock of finding string in your whiskers.
With sympathy and a discount voucher,
The Atelier
Tuxedo and Tails Formalwear is a fictional business. This letter is invented and no actual veils were lost, although one is rumoured to be under the sofa.