The cravat is the most flattering piece of neckwear a cat can wear, and also the easiest to mislay. Choosing one is a serious business, to be carried out in a good light, with a good mirror, and with at least one friend to say yes.
Step one: Know your neck
Cats have necks of various shapes. The tall elegant neck suits a long cravat. The short sturdy neck suits a folded one. The neck you cannot find suits a very small cravat tied directly to the ears. Stand in front of the mirror, lift your chin and decide which of these you are.
Step two: Choose your pattern
- Plain: a safe choice for solemn occasions, funerals and the vet
- Paisley: perfect for a wedding, a party or any event at which you will be photographed from the left
- Stripes: bold and confident, though they may cause a dog to bark
- Polka dot: playful, and an invitation to be tapped by anyone with a paw
Step three: Test the knot
A good cravat should be tied loosely enough for you to breathe and tightly enough to stay on until the end of the evening. A cravat that falls off is a missed opportunity. A cravat that cannot be removed is a decision.
Step four: The movement test
Walk across the room with the cravat on. Jump onto a chair. Jump off the chair. If the cravat has stayed where you left it, you have a keeper. If it has migrated to your tail, you have an anklet.
Step five: Check the colour against the fur
Our expert, Lady Marmalade, advises matching the cravat to the colour of the eyes, not the fur. Yellow eyes suit a deep blue cravat. Green eyes suit a burgundy cravat. Eyes that are two colours suit whatever the cat has already chosen, and she should not be argued with.
Step six: Care
Wash gently. Dry flat. Store in a drawer lined with silk, or in the dog’s bed, if you want to see what happens.
Final advice
A cravat is a promise to the world that you care. Even if you do not, the cravat will make it look as though you do. That is true elegance.
Tuxedo and Tails Formalwear is a fictional boutique. The advice above is invented and is not intended to replace the opinion of an actual tailor, or a mirror.